Annoying Coworkers and the Spread of Popcorn Lung

I used to have a very annoying coworker who popped a bag of microwave popcorn every afternoon like clockwork. She annoying for other reasons, but the popcorn didn't help. As I'm sure you can guess, the entire office reeked of that cloying buttery odor for the remainder of the workday. Turns out I should hunt her down and smack her silly. That overpowering stench wasn't just annoying, those noxious fumes contain diacetyl and it can be fatal. Though not dangerous to eat, over exposure to those fumes can cause bronchiolitis obliterans, a nasty fixed obstructive lung disease which results in inflammation and scarring of the lungs. It can only be cured by a lung transplant and it goes by the sick but oddly cute slang "Popcorn Lung". It was thought originally that only those who worked in the manufacturing industry were at risk, but now some everyday consumers of microwave popcorn have been diagnosed with popcorn lung. Right now there seems to be a consensus that the FDA is turning a blind eye to this and it's apparent the EPA was aware of potential problems two years ago. Can't say I'm surprised, but all I really want to do is track down my old diacetyl spreading coworker and do something particularly nasty to her.